- I did time myself on these so that is why they are so short. I also believe we get about 40 minutes per essay question. Am I right?
Leisure is a privilege in some societies, where to others it is a necessity to have it. In the poem “Adam Bede” George Elliot in 1859 expresses how leisure is not the same as it use to be, “old leisure” has gone to the way-side and what the author views leisure in her time differently.
Old leisure
was not having so many problems or thoughts to deal with explains the author.
“… he only read one newspaper, innocent of leaders, and was free from the
periodicity of sensations which we call post-time.” If they only had one
newspaper there wouldn’t be differing views and innocent leaders meant nothing
was changing or getting done to advance culture. So by that does old leisure
mean life was just so simple with everything static in life? “Happy is the
inability to know the causes of thing.” Leisure means no worries and to have
full leisure back then it was to be care free of politics, issues, or
knowledge.
Leisure in
the authors’ time seems non-existent because during her time things were being
invaded. “Ingenious philosophers tell you, perhaps, that the great work of the
steam-engine is to create leisure for mankind. Do not believe him:” This is the
perfect example of the author being stuck in his tracks that just now that
people are doing innovated things you can’t have leisure. This to some people
could be totally right, and to other an interesting thought.
Elliot
portrays leisure in an interesting way, making it predominate in that there is
none in her culture. Others could argue that, but not being in her time you
most likely couldn’t. She conveys her views by examples of old leisure versus
new leisure with advance syntax and diction. The authors’ tone is very clear
and gets the message across to the reader.
Essay Number Two:
Essay Number Two:
Social attitudes changes with the time, place, and people.
In Catcher in the Rye by written by J. D Salinger, the main character Holden
a young adult male decides to leave his private school and go an adventure to
the big city. Holden makes a lot of changes in his views and grows up quickly
during the wild weekend in the city. He meets people that guide him along, the
author guides Holden in the right direction for growing up and becoming an
adult.
Holden has
to deal with many different types of people along his journey. He had to deal
with his roommate Stradlater who likes to edge him on and tries his best to
make Holden upset. Holden would sometimes give in which shows how immature
people can be at times. Then once he
gets into the city he ends up meeting a prostitute and is frighten by this.
They end up just chatting and having good conversation while he tells her his
problems. This is a mature decision that he has to make and the point in the
story where you can see he starts to really make grown up decisions. Holden has
a little sister who he really cares for, and when he had to tell her all about
his adventures she wanted to run away with him. He was at a standstill at that
point and didn’t know what to do, he was very emotional about it. The fact that
Holden was moved emotionally by that shows that he is not immature and the
author has advanced him and his thinking in sociall attitudes towards life.
By the end
of the book we find that he is looking back at all this and is now going back
to school in fall. This shows how much he has changed in the positive
direction. Salinger does an excellent job at progressing Holden through the
whole book. As well when the novel first came out it was can from school for
being to vulgar, you look now and it is a classic novel. That goes to show you
how thrilling it is to watch social attitudes change over time meaning to and
not meaning to.
Essay #1: You got the idea across that the author wished to have old leisure rather than the leisure her time was giving her, but the way it was worded made it somewhat confusing. There were a few grammatical mistakes -forgotten commas and awkward sentences-, but other than that I think you answered the prompt. (Also at some points you refer to the author both as a 'he' and a 'she' so you might want to fix that!)
ReplyDeleteEssay #2: Grammatical mistakes in 1st paragraph and the wording of your thesis is strange. You used good examples in 2nd paragraph. You might want to add better vocabulary-instead of grown up, use adult? My advice would be to re-read your essays so you can fix all the little mistakes and strangely worded sentences.
Numbah 1: "what the author views leisure in her time differently" doesn't make sense.
ReplyDelete"authors’ " should be "author's"
you should go into more analysis for the quotes you chose.
your first few sentences in the conclusion don't really make sense...
Deuces: it seems like basically a plot summary, as opposed to the author trying to make change in society.
"was can from school" wtf?
you totally sound like you're talking. aw man, why do we know each other's diction..?
I see not much has changed with your grammar in the last few years but your spelling had gotten better haha. You crack me up. But I think overall, you got the point of question one, maybe just couldn't figure out quite how to get that across (while being grammatically correct). As for number two, I think you did a good job there as well, maybe just less of a summary next time. But I feel like you got both points, which is what counts. All of the other stuff can be worked on no prob.
ReplyDeleteSo there really wasnt that much to critique because in the first essay most of it was quotes and the second one was basically a plot summary. You need to add in some analysis and work on your grammar.
ReplyDeleteHmm your essays are good. The first one sorta lacks content but there are good quotes.
ReplyDeleteI think you should add more examples and address the prompt more specifically. :D Hi kaitlyn